Indiana University Medical Professor Held without Bail Pending Full Investigation
Tragic People Mover fire raises more questions than answers; Dubé becomes prime suspect in incident


Dateline July 17, 2003
Indianapolis, Indiana (USA)

When smoke began pouring from the recently-established Clarian Health People Mover monorail that links the Indiana University Hospital campus with Methodist Hospital in downtown Indianapolis, local officials were crushed. But as the smoke cleared, pessimism was again replaced by optimism, and skepticism with suspicion. Ultimately, suspicion was replaced with vague and poorly-focused attacks that has ultimately resulted in a prominent researcher being jailed.
Peeple Mover
A full report of the events leading up to this whirlwind controversy is available at
Apparently, Dubé, Associate Professor of Medicine at Indiana University, aroused suspicion when he approached the investigation team at the scene and exclaimed, "DUDES! Did this fricking thing blow up again? I swear I didn't do it." according to eye witnesses.
"I expected the People Mover to revolutionize medicine," enthused the widely-recognized icon. "I am personally crushed by its recent setbacks. I take personal offense at any suggestion that I have been anything other than fully supportive of its mission and objectives. I don't precisely recall what they were, but gall-dern it I support 'em. We WILL find those weapons of mass destruction, Tony Blare told me so. I was just in England this past weekend, and I can prove it because I brought back a 'Sell my bike? I'd rather shove wasps up my arse' t-shirt. You can't get them here in the States."
"I also want to provide my utmost support to the brand-new ACIDFast Racing spring line of apparel," opined the fraternal, yet hyperflatulent, ombudsman of this Midwestern urban paradise. "Indy kicks ass, and so do these shirts."
AFR Spring line