Indiana University
Medical Professor Held without Bail Pending Full Investigation
Tragic People Mover fire raises more questions than answers;
Dubé becomes prime suspect in incident
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Dateline July 17, 2003
Indianapolis, Indiana (USA)
When smoke began pouring from the recently-established Clarian Health People
Mover monorail that links the Indiana University Hospital campus with Methodist
Hospital in downtown Indianapolis, local officials were crushed. But as the
smoke cleared, pessimism was again replaced by optimism, and skepticism with
suspicion. Ultimately, suspicion was replaced with vague and poorly-focused
attacks that has ultimately resulted in a prominent researcher being jailed.
A full report of the events leading up to this whirlwind controversy is
available at
http://www.indystar.com/print/articles/3/058201-1313-093.html.
Apparently, Dubé, Associate Professor of Medicine at Indiana University,
aroused suspicion when he approached the investigation team at the scene and
exclaimed, "DUDES! Did this fricking thing blow up again? I swear I didn't
do it." according to eye witnesses.
"I expected the People Mover to revolutionize medicine," enthused the widely-recognized
icon. "I am personally crushed by its recent setbacks. I take personal offense
at any suggestion that I have been anything other than fully supportive of
its mission and objectives. I don't precisely recall what they were, but gall-dern
it I support 'em. We WILL find those weapons of mass destruction, Tony Blare
told me so. I was just in England this past weekend, and I can prove it because
I brought back a 'Sell my bike? I'd rather shove wasps up my arse' t-shirt.
You can't get them here in the States."
"I also want to provide my utmost support to the brand-new ACIDFast Racing
spring line of apparel," opined the fraternal, yet hyperflatulent, ombudsman
of this Midwestern urban paradise. "Indy kicks ass, and so do these shirts."
www.acidfast.com
MONORAIL REPORTER